On Monday’s I have meetings after-school. On Tuesday’s, I tutor 3 children, an hour each session, after my work days ends. I usually get home around 8:00pm. On Wednesday, I leave work as soon as I can to run home and let my dogs out. I grab a quick snack and I am out the door for another tutoring session. From there, I go straight to band practice and from there I go straight to church band practice. On Thursday’s I have my grad class from 5:00 to 8:00. While all of these things don’t really seem like that much, I can’t even begin to explain how overwhelmed even thinking about the busy pace of my weeks makes me. This week I added a therapy session followed by band practice to my Friday night. I really was ready to fall into my couch head first by the time I got home.
While it’s probably coming across as complaining, I’m really not. I don’t mind doing any of these things. I enjoy seeing the kids I tutor on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. And while I am usually yawning on my way to the sessions, they always seem to feel speedy while I am working with them. As for the band and church band practices, I dread getting in the car to get there but I love with all my heart being there and playing music once I am there. My grad class is almost over and despite the fact that is costs too much money and I am not getting a whole lot of new knowledge out of the course, I like academic learning environments — I’m good at school and usually enjoy the class discussions. So, knowing all this, can anyone tell my why I feel so completely and utterly spent and overwhelmed all the time? Or at least how to fix it?
A lot of the issue surely has to do with my day job. I love my kindergarteners but damn, are they exhausting! I’m usually already completely tapped out by the end of the school day and just need some time to not think, not have anyone call my name 43 times in a minute, not tap me, not tattle to me, and not throw a temper tantrum. I just need a few minutes to sit and not think. Not do. I need to just be. But… as you’ve seen how my after-school times look, this “not thinking” time doesn’t seem to be happening very much lately. And it’s honestly starting to become a little bit of a problem. I can deal with it most weeks but some weeks (like this one for example), it really makes me feel like I never want to leave my house over the weekend for the sake of “recovery.”
I don’t want to stop tutoring. The money is good and it pays for my weekend fun. Oh, wait… that’s problematic if I’m not having any do to the tutoring…. Well, besides that, I don’t want to stop playing in either band I’m in so the rehearsals are a must. I love music and consider it to be the soundtrack to my life. The only real option I see for making this better is that my grad class will be over in April. That will free up Thursday evening. At least then I will have Monday night after meetings and Thursday nights free. I still fly like a crazy person through Tuesday and Wednesday but it will (I hope) feel more like a sprint than a marathon every week.
In the meantime though, I have to try to find a way to mentally prepare better for my weekday activities. This constant mental over-spending and physical busyness is taking a toll on my awesomeness and quality of life. Any suggestions, cheesecakers? How do you maintain balance when life gets hectic and crazy?
~B
Who moved my cheesecake? 